Scientists today confirmed what we here at alienated books.com have known all along, that there is an all-water planet not all that far from the Earth.
GJ 1214b, or as Groom Lake’s resident ventitent, Octo, calls it, “home,” is the planet that Octo’s parents, Hank and Urtha fled upon discovering that their infant hatchling was actually allergic to water.
Trading their water world for the hot desert sun of Nevada, Octo prefers life in the dry desert, but Hank and Urtha are confined to a massive, U-shapred tank on the base where Octo routinely pours in bottles of rose wine at family dinner time. Of course, since so many aliens crash on Earth’s water surface (70%), the Bureau of Alien Affairs is lucky to have Hank and Urtha to send out on salvage missions to the deepest seas of our planet.
Speaking with Octo by phone, he expressed dismay about how Earth-bound scientists feel that every planet is their discovery: “I whoa, dude, my peeps have been living there for a long, long time, and just because you two-leggeds finally got a camera with a long enough zoom lens to see it, doesn’t mean you discovered it! Gotta go, think my pizza’s just arrived.”